Patricia, 26, has had only a few boyfriends. When Larry messages her, she responds: her colleagues know and like him, they share interests, and he sounds nice. But when he suggests they meet, she is overcome by her anxiety. She "ghosts" him -- gone.

Why? Because her experience of intimacy is horrible. She is different from everyone else in her family. They call her "weird," and she knows she's alone. She's always been alone. They want her to be more involved in the family events, and no one has abused her, but she doesn't trust any of them to understand her, so she declines.

School was fine; work is fine; but dating? No.

Patricia is at a crossroads: if she gives in to her anxiety (which feels more like terror), she continues to make her family the reference point for her life. She lives in relation to them, not to herself. That doesn't sit well.

But if she becomes her own reference point, it's all new. (And the terror is telling her this is unsafe!)

I reminded her of the film, "The Shawshank Redemption." Remember how hard it was to leave the institution? In prison, the routines were stable, the rules were stable, and none of the inmates had to think. Just obey. Leave the prison? You no longer know how to live "on the outside." Red hanged himself; the Morgan Freeman character came close.

Patricia's prison door has been open for about four years (she moved out at 22). She's given her family four years of her adult life. Is that enough? Can she take a big chance, walk out the door, and learn how to live in her own life?