The “short-term” therapies are intended to help people think or behave in more productive ways. That’s good. But I think they’re inadvertently demeaning, because they are ahistorical. They offer an appealing pitch: your history doesn’t matter; you can learn to do your life better, starting today. Why not give it a try? Wouldn’t you like to make better choices or be less miserable?

I’m reading a book by Scott Anderson titled “Lawrence in Arabia: War, Deceit, Imperial Folly and the Making of the Modern Middle East.” At the end of World War I, when the Ottoman Empire had fallen apart and new countries were created, the victors played for power, oil, territory. They ignored the history of the local peoples. We’re living with the consequences.

I think we treat ourselves with similar disrespect when we ignore or downplay our own histories. “Oh, you nearly died? Well! Good thing you didn’t! Stop moping and cheer up.”

This approach, while sensible (you didn’t die), ignores the need for someone to hear your story. You can’t be real to yourself, or really know the crisis is over, until someone cares about your story.

Maybe what happened to you is inconvenient. Maybe nobody has time or energy to listen. Maybe your story makes other people uncomfortable. Still, if your story doesn’t matter then you don’t matter.

As usual, there are pros and cons. It’s good to learn to do things in ways that turn out better, and the pragmatic therapies will help teach you. But your experience in life, and the “unproductive” thinking or behaviors you learned, have been your life. That’s your history. It matters — you matter — so be nice.